Whatever I Was Looking For
by totaleclipse
Summary: Kinomoto Sakura isn't your average beauty. in fact, she probably wouldn't even be considered one. Li Syaoran? the one guy that doesnt seem to care. can she hang on when the superficiality of Seijou High threatens to tear them apart?


Well well well. It looks like I've been motivated to write again, thanks to some really great fics I've read out there on fic.net. I'm really going to try to improve, so please feel free to drop some comments and constructive criticism on how I'm doing. I hope you enjoy~  =) 

Whatever I was looking for

                I'm not perfect. Yep, you heard it here. And I reiterate. I, Sakura Kinomoto, am pretty much your average screw up. No, I don't do drugs, or have sex like a crazed rabbit. I don't have sex at all, which is why my friend Meiling claims I'm too cynical and uptight. I'm 16 and a half, but everyone around me is about 17 going on to 18. I haven't "developed" yet…in that area. So everyone calls me a kid and I don't exactly fit in. I've got short brown hair, although it's not shiny like my other friend's, Tomoyo. It's just…there. **I'm** just…there. No one really notices me. I spend my days on the computer writing on this online blogspot called xanga. I love reading, especially romance novels. It makes me forget this stupid dreary life I have in this crappy place called Tomoeda (Gawd, I need to get out of here). I'm a bit of a tomboy, unlike all my other friends who like to, evidently, squeal, talk about boys, and squeal some more. Oh, and I have a big brother who is just a pain in the –mmf—sorry about that. He just walked by here. But I love him. After all, I wear his clothes when I get the chance to steal them. guys have all the comfortable clothes. You never see them trying to wear shirts as tight as ours are do you? … And in a few short minutes, I have told anyone who was even remotely interested, about me. Sheesh, I'm so selfish. I bet I've used the word "i" about fifty million times already. Sorry. 

                Aheh. Guys. Do NOT get me started. Hormonally sex crazed as they are, that could be why they just do not go after girls like me. I've had the unfortunate experience of actually crushing on quite a few. For a couple of good—long—years. Like this guy named Eriol. Hiiragizawa. Yeesh, everyone's liked him at one point or another. I don't want to get into him. He's sworn off girls forever because he got hurt in the past by this little slut named Mizuki. I think he still likes her too, for reasons unknown to man. Ass. Haha, just a little bit of lingering bitterness there. Ha. Although this year, there's been a guy though that's…interesting. He's Chinese, from Hong Kong. Heh, yeah. I know. Never Chinese right? (AN: before I get hate mail, I'm a chink too. It's nothing personal, but I needed this to be in Sakura's eyes. I wouldn't willingly insult my own heritage. And so on with the fic) but he's not stupid like the rest of those chinese guys. He's funny, sweet, charming, and he's got these brown eyes that you could drown in. only he's so hard to get close to. And not "hi-hi" close. I mean that bond where you know EVERYTHING about the other person. Tomoyo could probably crack him. She's so farking cheery she could befriend anyone. But I'm not like that. I'm sarcastic and usually I'm the one that needs the cracking. Number one turn off: I'm not pretty like all the rest of the *^@%'ing japanese girls. Number two turn off: I'm not defenseless. Anyone grabs me gets a kick in the groin. Ask Touya. ::smile:: so, in that said guy can not typically look at my face for hours because it's not perfect and that I will not degrade myself to screaming when an ant crawls within 5 feet of me, I would say I'm in some deep trouble. Well, that's what meiling says anyways. I'd much rather hit guys for their stupid ways than fawn over them. and I hate to say it, but this guy Syaoran is really screwing up my quest for lifelong hermitism. 

                And whatever I was looking for. . .that warmth around a guy or whatever. Whatever I was looking for. . . it seems Syaoran is coming a little too close for comfort. ::pause::. Alright, that's it. I'm f*cking _screwed_. 

[[And the Drama Begins..]]

                Kinomoto Sakura observed the newly polished blue and red tiles of Seijou High School as she walked to class B32 clutching her leather suitcase. She'd woken up late, but with the later bell time the school board had given this year, class was just about to start. Running a hand through her tangled auburn hair, Sakura walked through the door and sat down in one of the old yellow desks near the back. '_Just another nine and a half months. Woohoo.' _ Tension lingered in the air as students observed in silence who had changed over the summer and who was possible girlfriend/boyfriend material. Because of this, Sakura  was overwhelmed by self-consciousness, and immediately began to snore, with her head on the desk. The bell rang, teachers assigned lockers, reading, homework, a ritual to be repeated for a good healthy portion of their lives, Sakura sardonically noted. Come lunchtime, she promptly went outside under her favorite oak tree and waited for Tomoyo Daidouji to show. 

                "She came every day last year…no doubt that weirdo will show up again." She said with a little smile onher face. Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen. Standing and brushing off any dirt that might have gotten on her white pleated skirt, Sakura grabbed her brown bagged lunch and walked with feigned nonchalance to the cafeteria window, where she saw Tomoyo and all her other friends at a table laughing and joking. 

                "…"  Swiftly turning around and walking back outside, she muttered a quick "and the award for most consideration without a doubt goes to Tomoyo the bi—ow!!" a brown haired boy about a head taller than her had practically pushed Sakura off her balance near the stone steps; the brown bag lay a few feet away trampled on.

                "You okay?" she turned her head and squinted at the person staring down at her, realizing later that she must have looked like an idiot doing that.

                "Y-yeah, I'm fine." He offered Sakura her lunch bag, which she threw in the nearby garbage can. "ah, it was pretty bad anyways. Kinomoto Sakura. You?" 

                "Well, sorry anyways. Li Xiao Lang." He watched as Sakura raised an eyebrow.

                "whatever. Syaoran it is then. But I like Brown Eyes better." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly aware of how disarrayed it was, how childish she looked, how.. "I'll seeya round." That oak tree was looking pretty good right now. Sakura felt his eyes on her back as she walked away. "what would he be looking at anyways, my disproportioned legs?" she muttered. A hand through her hair again, she grabbed a book of poetry out her bag and settled down.

_I've got to talk to her again. _

"Edgar Allen Poe..The Raven." 

_I'm going to walk over there. _The newly dubbed Syaoran groaned at the stone table where he was now sitting. She wasn't exactly the prettiest girl there. If he ever took her out, people would think she was his little sister instead of his date. He recalled someone named Meiling approaching him earlier today. **she **was more his type. 

"…While I pondered, weak and weary.."

_I am alone and she is alone. I wonder if we would both love the company. _And before Syaoran knew what he was doing, the green grass was 'tshh'-ing under his feet as he marched over there with his lunch box in hand. 

"…Nevermore…" Sakura looked up briefly when a shadow blocked the sunlight from her face and found Syaoran standing up in front of her. "Brown Eyes." 

                "Felt bad about your lunch. Wanna share?" 

"it's..alright. I, um..don't eat lunch that often anyways. I don't—" she quickly looked up as he made a movement to leave. "..mind the company though." Sakura gave a small smile.

"So, Poe, huh?" She looked at him through the corner of her eye. _So tall. His hair falls in front of his eyes and ijust wanna run my fingers through it. He looks serious. And nice. And really cute. REALLY cute. Possibly drop dead gorgeous..and so **why **is he **here** then? _

"Yep, no one holds a candle to his work."

"if you ask me, he had problems." Syaoran took the book and pretended to read it upside down. Sakura then snatched it from his hands and whacked his shoulder with it.

"YOU have problems, baka." Both spend the rest of the lunch period talking, oblivious to the growing number of Seijou high students watching them. One of the guys who would soon be popular and sought after was befriending the Plain Jane of the school, and no one exactly knew why. 

"Sakura!!" Tomoyo and Naoko waved their hands so Sakura would spot them through the crowd of students at dismissal. She had morning classes with the duo but didn't see them at all after lunchtime. They walked home and as Naoko waved goodbye, Tomoyo and Sakura turned around; the other way to Sakura's house. "I'm sorry about lunch, I completely forgot about the oak tree." She looked sincerely apologetic. _Sure, whatever. _

"it's ok..i met this guy named Li Syaoran and we decided to eat lunch together from now on." Tomoyo stopped abruptly, her violet eyes widening. Raven hair flew '_gracefully as always'_ sakura secretly noted, as Tomoyo turned to face her.

"you know Xiao Lang? You mean you've met him before? And-and talked to him?" 

"well he's in half of my classes in the afternoon..and we share lunch together. He's nice." Sakura blushed and looked away. The slight breeze blew her shoulder length hair across her face to hide the telltale redness. She heard the sound of tinkling bells, and turned against the wind to see Tomoyo laughing.

"oh, don't be absurd. He's already gained the reputation of one of the hot guys around here. What would he be doing with you?" they had already reached Sakura's yellow stucco house and walked up the two stone steps. Sakura fumbled with the keys to the red painted door and was in the process of opening the door when Tomoyo's hurtful question reached her ears. Anger flared up coursed through her veins.. her _imperfection_ was already reminded of every time she was around her friend. _'she need not remind me again..' _Sakura thought through clenched fists. She stayed silent.

"sakura?" the aftereffects of Tomoyo's laughter had died down and now her amethyst eyes were twinkling and her cheeks a rosy pink. Sakura had taken off her shoes and gone in, but blocked the doorway to Tomoyo's entrance. 

"Well," she said with a sweet smile on her face, "it must be because he's seen you and decided he doesn't want to hang out with a superficial motherfu—" and with that, the door slammed shut. Sakura turned around to see who had interrupted her premature explosion. Lo and behold, her brother had one hand on the door and one on her head. She swatted it away and punched him in the arm.

"Kaijuu, I thought I told you to keep your temper in check."

"nii-chan, I thought I told you to mind your own business. Anyways.."

"well if she was making fun of you again, she deserved it. My sister is a mean little kaijuu isnt she? Yesh she is..yesh she—ow!"  Sakura ran up the stairs to change into some more comfortable clothes. mid step, she turned around.

"nii-chan **likes **getting beat up by his kaijuu doesn't he? Yesh he does…" and she started quietly laughing to herself as Touya stuck his tongue out at her. just as she closed her door, she heard through the crack:

"**Are you PMS'ing, sister dear?**"  at this Sakura opened the door and yelled down the stairs,

"WHY YOU LITTLE FU—" 

"I'm home, Touya, where's my little girl?"

".." Sakura sighed. "I give up.—I'm here dad!—" She tilted her head upwards. "Lord, I guess you just really don't want me to use profanity, do you?" Pulling out some pants she'd bought from the boy's sectioni of the department store and a black t-shirt with the words NET on it, she began to switch out of her school uniform. 

"Mang…talk about your divine intervention."

[[the boring part]]

 well, dear readers, how did you like it? Of course, It's one in the morning and I'm slightly delirious (when am I ever NOT delirious?).  please take some time to tell me if there's anything I can improve on, or if you just wanna say hi or something xD ^-^  I hope no one just goes "uh..i hate you" though. 

No, It's not going to be a makeover fic where Sakura suddenly becomes beautiful and all is right with the world.

No, it's not going to work perfectly in her favor where everything falls in her lap.

No, future chapters are probably not going to be as lighthearted as this chapter was.

No, It's not going to be your typical CCS fic.

And finally

No, the author is NOT sane. Please bear with me though. 

And I apologize for it's slow-moving-ness. I'll try and speed it up, ne?

Ah yes, the disclaimer. I don't own anything but the story. Cheers(bite me). 

Peace to yu all~

                TotalEclipse


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